#009 Goodbye Uncle Butch
If you are a common reader of mine, you will have most likely realized that I am an individual who tends to make lemonade out of the lemons of life. It is far easier for me to deal with the realities of bad situations by making them funny or humorous. After all, if you don’t do that, than you can be left with a pretty depressing reality. Who in the world would want that? Hence my humor.
However, not all of life is funny and humorous.
Goodbye, Uncle Butch
A couple of days ago, I received a call from my wife. She was in tears. She just got off the phone will a family member to discover that an Uncle had passed away. These are the situations that I have no humor for. All I can do is feel for the family he left behind. Death is a horrible thing to have deal with, and I have no “light” way of looking at this. I almost thought not to write anything about it, but then I would be leaving some pretty major things out of the story of our life. Sometimes you have to write about the bad times too. Whether serious or humorous, writing is my way of releasing it.
My wife has gone to Mississippi to be at the funeral. Her Uncle’s death is yet another reminder that her continued excuses for not seeing her family down there have to stop. It is has been nearly 13 years since her last visit. She has a couple of grandparents that may not survive for much longer, so she has decided that she can no longer put it off. The funeral is tomorrow (well, I guess it’s today since its past 1am right now).
My wife left this morning with Gabriel. For all of you who share a concern for a 14-day old baby traveling in a plane, we can all pray together for his safety. So far, they are both fine. My wife called every step of the way, so I know they are safe in Jackson now. As long as you are praying, I ask that you also pray for my wife. I cannot imagine the flood of emotions that she is going through. I know she’s a strong woman, but there is only so much a person can handle. It is very difficult for me to see her go because it means I can’t be there to help her out when she needs it. I know she’ll have lots of family to take care of them, but it’s not the same. She is also much more susceptible to viruses right now, since a large portion of her antibodies are being passed onto our son. If anything, we should be praying heavily for her health.
Life can be interesting at times. We are so blessed to have been given this gift from God, but then Satan fires right back by taking a life before it’s time. This is a very hard topic to write about. I suffered the same fate when my wife handed me the sympathy card and asked me to sign it. How do you possibly find the words to deal with a death? For one thing, it is extremely difficult to write to a part of the family I have yet to meet. I mean, what can I really say that will be helpful? I know there really aren’t any words now, but I sincerely hope what I did pick out will mean something later on down the road.
I attended a leadership conference recently, and something was said at that conference that has continually stuck in my mind. This situation has reminded me of it once again. The speaker asked us to write the story of our children’s future. Where did we see them going? What were they going to do? Who were they going to be? Next, he said to write that same story, only this time take yourself out of the story. Why? Because you aren’t taking care of yourself. You wake up everyday and think “it’s my body, I’ll feed it whatever I want. After all, I’m only hurting myself, right? I’ll smoke, I’ll drink, I’ll do whatever makes me happy. After all, it’s only me I’m hurting…” As you write this story, think about the major milestones of your children’s lives that you will not be part of: first loves, high school graduation, acceptance into college, first house, marriage, successes and failures… all without their father.
Those words blew me away. It’s one of those situations where you hear that and then realize life has to change. I can no longer live so carefree anymore. After all, I now have four boys whose stories would be far different stories if I were no longer part of the story. I don’t like that story.
Not at all.
I don’t mean to turn this conversation and make it sound as though it’s all about me. I definitely do not feel that way. I’m just writing out loud. That’s something else you should all know about me. When you read my writing, it is like you are having a conversation with me. Yep. You can’t get a word in edgewise now either. **wink**
The “Story of My Kid’s Life” makes me think about the survivors of this Uncle I never knew. How will the rest of their stories look now that he will no longer be a part of them? Is this the turning point in their lives where they do better because they want him to be so proud of them as he looks down on them from above? Or will it make them turn the other way, and allow their anger to harden their hearts, turn them away from God, and start them down a path of misery and disparity? Either way, I’m sure they both would want the story written differently.
I know I would.
Wow… I didn’t think I was going to write to this much. Guess I better start finding the words to end this particular blog.
I ask you all to prayerfully consider my family in your prayers. If you are wondering what/whom to pray about, pray that my wife and son return to Arizona on Monday night healthy and virus free. Pray for Jackie and Jay, the son and daughter of the deceased. Pray for his Mom, who has to deal with the pain of burying her own son. And especially pray for any family member who chooses to use this horrible incident as a means to pull away from their beliefs. I can only imagine the pain and anger this causes.
Okay, I think I’ve said all I can say. I write this today for a very good reason. If you’re reading this blog, chances are you are loved by Livonia and I. The best way to deal with hard times is to involve your loved ones. I remember a time in my life when you would never see me doing something like this. Personal issues are to be kept internal, where they can fester and tear at the very fabric of your being. That’s the way I used to think. It is only now that I realize the more transparent a person is, the stronger that person is.
Consider yourselves part of the solution. We love you all. A common question is “what can I can do to help?” We are so blessed that this question is common amongst our close friends. Yes, there is. Continue to be the person you are, and the person we have always loved you to be, and then do what your heart tells you to do. It will be exactly what we needed, and at exactly the time we needed it to occur.
I sincerely hope the next post will find us all in much lighter spirits.
Until next time…
However, not all of life is funny and humorous.
Goodbye, Uncle Butch
A couple of days ago, I received a call from my wife. She was in tears. She just got off the phone will a family member to discover that an Uncle had passed away. These are the situations that I have no humor for. All I can do is feel for the family he left behind. Death is a horrible thing to have deal with, and I have no “light” way of looking at this. I almost thought not to write anything about it, but then I would be leaving some pretty major things out of the story of our life. Sometimes you have to write about the bad times too. Whether serious or humorous, writing is my way of releasing it.
My wife has gone to Mississippi to be at the funeral. Her Uncle’s death is yet another reminder that her continued excuses for not seeing her family down there have to stop. It is has been nearly 13 years since her last visit. She has a couple of grandparents that may not survive for much longer, so she has decided that she can no longer put it off. The funeral is tomorrow (well, I guess it’s today since its past 1am right now).
My wife left this morning with Gabriel. For all of you who share a concern for a 14-day old baby traveling in a plane, we can all pray together for his safety. So far, they are both fine. My wife called every step of the way, so I know they are safe in Jackson now. As long as you are praying, I ask that you also pray for my wife. I cannot imagine the flood of emotions that she is going through. I know she’s a strong woman, but there is only so much a person can handle. It is very difficult for me to see her go because it means I can’t be there to help her out when she needs it. I know she’ll have lots of family to take care of them, but it’s not the same. She is also much more susceptible to viruses right now, since a large portion of her antibodies are being passed onto our son. If anything, we should be praying heavily for her health.
Life can be interesting at times. We are so blessed to have been given this gift from God, but then Satan fires right back by taking a life before it’s time. This is a very hard topic to write about. I suffered the same fate when my wife handed me the sympathy card and asked me to sign it. How do you possibly find the words to deal with a death? For one thing, it is extremely difficult to write to a part of the family I have yet to meet. I mean, what can I really say that will be helpful? I know there really aren’t any words now, but I sincerely hope what I did pick out will mean something later on down the road.
I attended a leadership conference recently, and something was said at that conference that has continually stuck in my mind. This situation has reminded me of it once again. The speaker asked us to write the story of our children’s future. Where did we see them going? What were they going to do? Who were they going to be? Next, he said to write that same story, only this time take yourself out of the story. Why? Because you aren’t taking care of yourself. You wake up everyday and think “it’s my body, I’ll feed it whatever I want. After all, I’m only hurting myself, right? I’ll smoke, I’ll drink, I’ll do whatever makes me happy. After all, it’s only me I’m hurting…” As you write this story, think about the major milestones of your children’s lives that you will not be part of: first loves, high school graduation, acceptance into college, first house, marriage, successes and failures… all without their father.
Those words blew me away. It’s one of those situations where you hear that and then realize life has to change. I can no longer live so carefree anymore. After all, I now have four boys whose stories would be far different stories if I were no longer part of the story. I don’t like that story.
Not at all.
I don’t mean to turn this conversation and make it sound as though it’s all about me. I definitely do not feel that way. I’m just writing out loud. That’s something else you should all know about me. When you read my writing, it is like you are having a conversation with me. Yep. You can’t get a word in edgewise now either. **wink**
The “Story of My Kid’s Life” makes me think about the survivors of this Uncle I never knew. How will the rest of their stories look now that he will no longer be a part of them? Is this the turning point in their lives where they do better because they want him to be so proud of them as he looks down on them from above? Or will it make them turn the other way, and allow their anger to harden their hearts, turn them away from God, and start them down a path of misery and disparity? Either way, I’m sure they both would want the story written differently.
I know I would.
Wow… I didn’t think I was going to write to this much. Guess I better start finding the words to end this particular blog.
I ask you all to prayerfully consider my family in your prayers. If you are wondering what/whom to pray about, pray that my wife and son return to Arizona on Monday night healthy and virus free. Pray for Jackie and Jay, the son and daughter of the deceased. Pray for his Mom, who has to deal with the pain of burying her own son. And especially pray for any family member who chooses to use this horrible incident as a means to pull away from their beliefs. I can only imagine the pain and anger this causes.
Okay, I think I’ve said all I can say. I write this today for a very good reason. If you’re reading this blog, chances are you are loved by Livonia and I. The best way to deal with hard times is to involve your loved ones. I remember a time in my life when you would never see me doing something like this. Personal issues are to be kept internal, where they can fester and tear at the very fabric of your being. That’s the way I used to think. It is only now that I realize the more transparent a person is, the stronger that person is.
Consider yourselves part of the solution. We love you all. A common question is “what can I can do to help?” We are so blessed that this question is common amongst our close friends. Yes, there is. Continue to be the person you are, and the person we have always loved you to be, and then do what your heart tells you to do. It will be exactly what we needed, and at exactly the time we needed it to occur.
I sincerely hope the next post will find us all in much lighter spirits.
Until next time…
posted by Roger Winkles | 1:44 AM
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